Topher: Holy shit. Am I the first one here for once?

*chittering*

Topher: Yeah, but Peter's always the first one here. It's like his thing.

Jeff: … No! No! Squirrels--!

Topher: You're not Peter.

Jeff: … No, I just roomed with him when I went to school here.

Topher: No you didn't. That was that drug guy.

Jeff: Yes, I did! I did room with Peter. Squirrels, ( Read more... )

Arthur: Good evening, Fandom. I don't speak for the authorities of your island, but I must warn you that there are reports of horrid creatures shambling about tonight. Please don't venture outside without an escort, it's very dangerous. I'm sure the local knights will handle it with skill.

*noise of door opening*

Jeff: ZOMBIES! There's actual ( Read more... )

Turtle: Good evening, Fellow Fandomites, and happy holidays! You're listening, as usual, to Turtle Wexler Friday Nights, but there's something very special about this particular Friday night. I've got a guest! Say hi to everyone, guest.

Jeff: *distant voice that sounds like he's miles away from the camera* ...hi everyone. It's radio!

Turtle: * ( Read more... )

Good evening, fellow Fandomites! Man, it seems like forever since I've said that! I guess that can happen when you're stuck as a turtle, but that Adah girl did a...um, well. It was nice of her to cover, that's all I'll say ( Read more... )

Jeff: Er, h-- hi. It's Jeff, and, er, what I'm trying to say is, er...

Turtle: Hi, folks. Jeff's trying to say that this is his last formal radio. You see, there's...an issue.

Jeff: Do we have to talk about this on the radio?

Turtle: The public and your adoring fans have a right to know, Jeff.

Jeff: Well, they can wait like everyone else!

( Read more... )

Jeff: I still think he was entirely wrong about the squirrels, Turtle.

Turtle: Who? Trip? What did he say about the squirrels?

Jeff: ...You really don't want to know. Trust me. It's too horrible.

Turtle: Too horrible for radio?

Jeff: Too horrible for people. Can we have notes? Please?

Turtle: Fine, fine. Notes. Onto the news!

( When a Man and a Woman love each other VEEEEEERY MUCH.... )

Turtle: Good evening, Fandom! You're listening to WTFH Radio, and both me and my boyfriend-slash-cohost are here tonight, because Jeff's a little more comfortable with ceilings now, thank goodness.

Jeff: As long as you're here. You're really good at keeping them away a bit.

Turtle: It's the logic, really. But we've been over that. Everyone's ( Read more... )

Jeff: ...and you know, Turtle, the universe is oddly fortuitous.

Turtle: ...uh, yes, Jeff, I'd have to agree with you there.

Jeff: I'm just saying! Oh, is this on? ...Oh my god.

Turtle: Oh my god, what? Is it sheep again?

Jeff: It's been on the whole time, hasn't it?

Turtle: Well, not the whole time. It went on with the universe and its odd ( Read more... )

Turtle: Good evening, Fandom! You're listening to Turtle and Jeff on WTFH Radio, here to bring you all the news fit to print. Or, in this case, broadcast. We are no longer wee itty bitty children, I'm back to being sixteen and old enough to drive, heck yeah!, and Jeff has back his sleeves!

Jeff: They were in my closet. I had to use a stick, but ( Read more... )

Turtle: Guess what, Fandom! Today's the best day ever! Today's my birthday! It's Willow's birthday, too, so that helps as well. Yay! Birthday!

Jeff: I'm not certain you should've put that chocolate egg on your sandwich, Turtle. It seems like it's... ... expanding.

Turtle:...what is? My birthday? I could be okay with my birthday expanding!

( Read more... )